How do you get a best friend? I want to know!

If you’re a mid 30’s married mother of 3; how do you go about finding a “bff” other than your husband. You know the kind I’m talking about… a girl that will rescue you when you need a break or just listen to you complain without judging you. The one you would want to spoil endlessly because of the bond you have.

Don’t get me wrong – I love my husband and for me he’s the best BFF I could ask for… but sometimes you just wanna be a little girlie silly and while he tries… it’s just not the same šŸ™‚

Back in school days you are presented with lots of options. Every year/grade/class has a whole new host of possibilities…. but once that pool of potential candidates are gone and you still do not have that one by your side … what do you do?

Well it seems others have been in my very same spot “how to find a best friend”.Ā 

  1. E – how has an article on how to do it.
  2. has a few folks that have posted on this topic.
  3. Wikihow has a post but seems a bit too “young” for my age bracket.
  4. Blogspot has a blog dedicated to it.

There must be a better way… I wonder if someone has advertised on craigslist for one.

OK so I’ll take the 6 most common ways people are suggesting to find a best friend and apply them to me:

  1. Get out: that #1 requires a sitter or asking my husband to watch the kids; so this would be slightly difficult and since it isn’t a guarantee that I would be successful – not sure this is a smart option for such limited time. The time I do use for this is for a little bit of me time or grocery shopping!
  2. Network: Myspace=meat market; I’ve never met anyone on myspace that wasn’t looking to “score”. Facebook seems more like a place to find long lost friends… not new ones. I attempted facebook when I was trying to get to know people for an endurance race; very cliquish.
  3. After work functions. There are less than 20 people in my company; we do not have after work functions. Also as a manager… not really appropriate to become best friends with the employees – all thought I do become very close to them.
  4. Make the first move: don’t you have to know someone that is available first? I don’t know anyone!!!!
  5. Participate at your children’s school. Hmmm I’ve tried this; it seems most of the parents are friends from preschool level. I can count several occassions where a non PTA related event has occurred and I just do not know or are close enough with people to be invited. I wouldn’t call this one cliquish… I would just say close friendships are already formed and most people just aren’t available to make “new friends”. Each PTA meeting – I just feel like an outsider because I have to arrive late due to my work scheduleĀ  and leave early because of my sitter situation.Ā  On a positive note I did join a BUNCO group with folks from the kids elementary school – but oddly enough I still feel like the oddball girl in the group. I just can’t figure out how to open up or be myself. ** more on this
  6. Move – well I have a mortgage and the housing market bites; we’ve had several houses in our neighborhood up for sale for over a year .. so this isn’t going to happen any time soon.

*so I said I would revisit a statement I made. “I just can’t figure out how to open up or be myself.” Maybe this is the problem? A “net friend” sent me some “get to know myself” questionnaires a while back; I may have to revisit those.

Any other ideas are most welcome! Even tho I have the love and friendship of my family; I feel so lonely at time. I had an evening to myself this past week. I sat at home alone because I didn’t have anyone I could call to have dinner, go window shopping or just chat with. That feeling has really stuck with me. It’s consuming me. There has to be someone that needs a best friend.


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